Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Crazy, hormonal Mommy...

I know, I haven't posted for a long time... I really need to be better at it, but it seems like blogging has taken a huge backseat to facebooking. I also had lost my camera's computer connector after Christmas and I didn't have any pictures to post until now... maybe I will do a brief update of the past year... we will see- I don't have tons of time.
I do, however, want to share how wonderful my children are and brag about them for a second. I have been really struggling this pregnancy with illness and discomfort and mood swings. Abby has made me several "I hope you feel better soon," drawings that were completely unprompted... I am so grateful for my little angel. Well, the other day I lost it for no real reason, honestly I started to yell at my kids because we couldn't find the tape to put up a Halloween decoration with and for some reason that got me really mad just thinking of all of the lost tape, pens, and used paper that they steal from my office. I was also fed up with their messy rooms which I had been trying everything in my power to persuade them to do without forcing it on them... finally I blew a fuse and started yelling at the kids- I told Abby she had to clean her room or go straight to bed... when after several times of yelling at her to try to keep her on task and still not getting results, I put her to bed, yelling at her the whole time and her crying. She got herself back up and cleaned her room... later when I put her to bed, still angry from before, she hands me this note:



For those who can't read kindergartener, it says, "Mommy, I hope you feel better, To Mommy from Abby." I lost it and started to cry, I felt like the worst Mom in the world for getting so ticked at my children for not having really done anything wrong. I still can't believe that a sweet little girl decided on her own to make this for her mother who was screaming and yelling at her and calling her a theif and it is so full of love... I now have it hanging in my office where I can see it prominently for 6-7 hours a day and remind myself of the kind of mother I should be. It is easy to blame my behavior on my hormones, and I will admit, I have yelled at the kids way more than I used to lately... but I need to be better. I just hope that I haven't damaged my sweet, loving children by the time my hormones balance themselves out again!!! I just have to say how blessed I am to have the kids I do- I certainly know I don't deserve them, but I am super grateful for them!!!